5 Simple Reasons to Stop the Mommy Wars

This post is sponsored by Similac. I was compensated for this post but all opinions are my own.

The worst part of being a mom is the constant nagging of failure. I’m a good mom. I love my children dearly. But there is always that feeling that I’m failing them somehow. It’s not that I’m doing something wrong, but sometimes the pressure from myself and other moms can be incredibly intimidating.

It’s time to stop the mommy wars!

Being a mommy is hard work and there is no instructional manual to follow. Ladies, it's time to stop the mommy wars. It's time to stick together and encourage each other.

I’m a mom who pretty much tried it all. I had natural births with no medication and I begged the doctor for an epidural. I bottle fed and I breastfed. I used disposable diapers and I tried cloth diapering. I pushed my children in a stroller and I wore them in a carrier. I let my babies sleep with me and I put them in their crib. I was a stay-at-home mom, work-at-home mom, and a work outside of the home mom. I’ve honestly tried it all. All of my kids were different and what worked with one, definitely didn’t work with another.

My point in all this is, parenting styles are different, just like each one of our children. But at the end of the day, we all have one purpose in mind. One desire when we lay our heads on our pillows at night — we want our children to feel loved and know that they are treasured. If your children know that, you’re doing a fantastic job. But just because your neighbor doesn’t do things the way you do them, don’t judge her. Let’s work together to stop the mommy wars.

5 Simple Reasons to Stop the Mommy Wars

Babies aren’t born with manuals. When you bring that sweet bundle of joy home from the hospital the reality of motherhood will probably slap you right in the face on the first night on your own. That little body that you so gently held in your hands was and is totally your responsibility (and that of your spouse). There is no right or wrong way to parent, but you have to find what works best for you and your family. And sometimes that takes a lot of trial and error. And lots of crying — for everyone involved. What works for your family might not work for another family. So moms, please, be careful in your judgement, stares and eye rolls. You never know what that mom is going through. She doesn’t need your judgement. She needs your support.

Being a mom is a hard job. It doesn’t matter if you’re a stay-at-home mom, work-at-home mom, or you work outside of the home. Being a mom is the hardest job you’ll ever have because being a mom never stops. You don’t clock out. You don’t get sick days. You can’t go on vacation. Once you become a mom, you’ll always be a mom. And no one understands the nights you can’t sleep because your child is sick, like a mom does. No one understands the constant worry that plagues your mind when your child is gone at school or a friend’s house, like a mom does. No one understands the dreams you have for your child, like a mom does. Being a mom is such a special job. A job that isn’t for the faint of heart. Being a mom will be the best thing you’ve ever accomplished. So please, don’t judge the mom that doesn’t do things the way you do. Support her, because we all need support.

No one understands women like women. Women are special. We go through things that men will never experience or understand. Our hormones are so uniquely made that they can control our bodies, our emotions, our thoughts and our feelings. We are wonderfully and beautifully made. As women, we should walk with grace and love. We should nurture, encourage and support other women (and fellow moms). Remember before judging her that she’s just like you. She may do things differently, but she is a mom, and she is trying her best.

We are all trying our best. Some days it takes everything I have within me just to make it through the day. The constant juggle of laundry, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, homework, and work wears me thin. There are some days I feel like I’m on the verge of a mental breakdown and that if I don’t retreat to the solace of a quiet place, I may just fall head first. And the last thing I need is another mom judging me for the way I feel. At the end of the day, we all want our children happy and content. We want our husbands happy and content. But who watches out for us? We do. We have to stick together and support each other. Offer encouragement, offer assistance, offer kindness, but please, don’t shame another mom. We are all trying our best. Our best just may be different than your best.

In a world that is filled with so much hate, we just need to love. You don’t have to look very far to see how much hate is in this world. Just turn on your nightly news and you’ll see. In the last few years my husband and I made a decision not to watch the news because of how depressing it was. I still keep up to date on world issues online, but we don’t allow the news in our home because 1) we want to shield our children and protect their innocence as long as possible and 2) every time I would watch the news I noticed my mood would change. Just seeing the constant murders, and thefts, and rape…it was too much for me. So ladies, please, show love in all you do. Be an example of grace, humility, and understanding to your children. Let’s teach the new generation that we don’t have to follow down the same path. That we can change the way we interact with each other. That we can show love even to the unlovable. As a mother it is naturally part of our nature to love. Please, let’s work together to create a world worthy of our children. Let’s stop shaming and judging each other for the way we parent our children. If we do, then our children can.

Being a mommy is hard work and there is no instructional manual to follow. Ladies, it's time to stop the mommy wars. It's time to stick together and encourage each other.

We are all unique in the way we parent our children. If we all did things the same way, this world would be a pretty boring place.

Let’s change the future for our children. Let’s provide for them a world that is less judgmental and one that supports differences.

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39 thoughts on “5 Simple Reasons to Stop the Mommy Wars”

  1. Jeannette says:

    I totally agree with you! If we could just all support each other instead of attaching each other, this of all we could accomplish together!

  2. Carissa Pelletier says:

    I also think this can extend to parents vs. non-parents (or not-yet-parents who are already know-it-alls!) and first time parents and veterans. I feel like my thoughts have changed with each child and even with the changing time. Each day is a new day to try to put a collaborative foot forward!

  3. Shop with Me Mama (Kim) says:

    I could not agree more!! No more mommy wars! No more judging, we are all trying our very best!

  4. Michele says:

    Not having any children I tend to not get judgmental on what Mom’s do or don’t do. Every child is unique and so is every Mom and Dad for that matter. Trial and error will eventually work to figure out the best for you and your child!

  5. Michelle F. says:

    I love that video. Even though we are all different we all want the same thing, healthy and safe kids.

  6. Lindsey @ Redhead Baby Mama says:

    I love that video so much when it came out. I still share it on occasion. I’m all for stopping the judging (unless it’s causing the child harm!) and trying to support each other’s decisions.

  7. HilLesha says:

    How true! Every mom has her own parenting style. I never understood why and how people judge others how they parent when there are far more important things going on in the world.

  8. Kristi says:

    If only there were a way for every single mom in the world to see this post. The comparison and judging is soooo frustrating. A great post. I too have decided not to watch the nightly news and instead read the updates online and that is enough for me.

  9. Stacie @ Divine Lifestyle says:

    There is one very simple reason to stop the Mommy Wars. We’re all mommy’s! Why don’t we build each other up instead of tearing each other down.

  10. Catherine S says:

    What a great post. It would be so nice if we could all just get along and support each other.

  11. Liz Mays says:

    We’re all trying to do the best we can, even if one person’s style is different from someone else’s. I see no reason to pick each other apart!

  12. Robin Rue (@massholemommy) says:

    I don’t understand why some moms fight. There really is no right or wrong way – we are all just doing our best.

  13. Michelle says:

    I’m not a mom, but I do think moms are way to hard on themselves and each other. It’s the hardest job in the world and I wish more time was spent building each other up instead of down.

  14. Dogvills says:

    I agree with you 100%. Women should be supportive to each other and we need to understand other moms, not judge them

  15. Ronni says:

    I love that video!
    I think women are much harder on other women than any other community. Judging, comparing, belittling… it’s sad. We fight against so many things individually – and quite successfully. If we could step out of the high school drama game and put that effort into a united front, on all issues, we’d totally be an unstoppable force. Everyone would benefit and get ahead rather than be stepped on and climbed like a ladder. Kind of sad, all the wasted bickering.

  16. Jeanine says:

    Mommy wars are ridiculous and I think half the time they are created because one mom feels inferior to another and has go bring her down. It drives me nuts and usually I avoid them at all costs. We all do our own thing and should only worry about ourselves and our families not what others do!

  17. Sabrina @ Dinner, then Dessert says:

    This commercial made me cry, I shared it with all my friends when it first came out. I couldn’t agree with you more ?

  18. Debbie L. says:

    Great Video! I too agree no need for Mom Wars we are all Moms trying our hardest!

  19. Jenni E. {Sweet Pennies from Heaven} says:

    So soo true! As moms, we all know how hard life is. We need to pick eachother up as often as we can instead of kicking one while she’s down.

  20. Theresa says:

    I just love that video! We all just need to agree that we all just want what’s best for our kids at the end of the day. As long as they are healthy and happy, who are we to judge another on their parenting skills.

  21. Amy @ Marvelous Mommy says:

    I agree so much! We are all just trying our best. That commercial is hilarious!

  22. I appreciate you sharing this. I just wish that the super moms would every once in a while share that they aren’t as perfect as put on.

  23. Rosey says:

    I like the message not to judge. That’s something we forget so easily when someone does something differently than we might do.

  24. Stacey- Travel Blogger says:

    I don’t like to watch the news either. It is all negative anymore. I think it just promotes more hatred and violence!

  25. Valerie says:

    I think it is sad that women still cut each other down. We are all in the same position in life. We should all just be there and help each other!

  26. Travis says:

    I’m a guy which pretty much means I know something about arguing over stupid stuff (sports, lame dares, etc). That being said, I never get why moms feel like they have to one up one another constantly. As difficult as it is to be a mother now, shouldn’t they be building up rather than tearing each other down? You raise many good points.

  27. Penelope says:

    This is a really important message. We all mother different ways, but we are all doing the best we can.

  28. Chrysa says:

    People can really be judgmental. When it comes to issues of just “different styles”, the only saying – we can just agree to disagree- should be remembered more often!

  29. Lynsey Jones says:

    I’ve never engaged in the mommy wars. I think the way most women treat other women is awful – when did it become ok to bash each other over anything?

  30. Carly Brydon says:

    I cannot agree with you more! We need to not be so hard on ourselves or other moms.

  31. Marina John says:

    I love this post and the video. Its so easy to criticize other’s parenting nut in the end, we all love our children and should be so critical.

  32. Jennifer Medeiros says:

    Sing it sister.

  33. Valerie Remy-Milora says:

    Totally agree. Our babies are unique and so are we. We were all raised differently with various influences and should be celebrating this as it gives us an opportunity to both share something special and learn new mommy tricks. We are so much more powerful when we support each other!!

  34. Andrea Kruse says:

    Great post! It is so true that we should stop comparing ourselves. …and really not judge other Moms. It is tough and I know I have made plenty of mistakes along the way… but it really is a learning experience and love is such an important part of it.

  35. Cinny says:

    Everyone is different and no one does things the exact same way. I don’t see a point in arguing about it!

  36. Kiwi says:

    I am not gonna lie I am not a mom and sometimes I just dont understand the hardwork a mother does. I hope when I become a mother I am more empathic and understanding!

  37. Chrystal @ YUM eating says:

    It’s human nature to be judgmental, despite how unnecessary it is. Life would be a lot easier if people just stopped sticking their nose in others business and worried about their own family. But, thanks to the Internet and the power of blogging and Facebook, you put yourself out there, people are going to disagree and the Computer gives them a wall to hide behind.

  38. Jenn @TheRebelChick says:

    I think this whole mommy wars thing is ridiculous and these women should be ashamed of themselves! I am guessing that these women will be raising a bunch of bullies since they think that behavior is acceptable.

  39. Suzanne Holt says:

    I think this campaign is a great reminder that we can let differences that really should not matter separate us. Raising kids is definitely hard work, no matter how the process looks for you!

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